If Mouse(plural) is Mice, then House(plural) should be Hice.

Studying theory and critically analyzing objects, from academic texts to investigating the significance of spatial arrangement in morning ritual Cheerios eating, marks a strange experience of life. This extends right to the oh-so-sweet relief of short bathroom breaks in between teaching classes.

Walking in and observing possible choices lining the left-hand wall, you're thinking, "what position, arrangement, style and poise when peeing defines me as a person?" If I choose the first stall, I'm an otiose ($20 academic word drop!) conformist, selecting the first available opportunity. The second cubicle could be an option, although it might violate male convention, ensuring that there is always a space, if possible, between adjacent users. Using the third stall would amiably locate me in the center of the stalls, extending no favour to alternate options on the left or right. However, a central location could imply a lack of decisive side-choosing, demonstrating lack of both agency and active decision-making. Although using the cubicle second from the end could associate me as a careful consumer of availability, demonstrating thoughtful evaluation and subsequent dismissal of first-come options, this positions me too close to the fifth stall, perhaps expressing an antisocial and paranoid behaviour towards being near other alphas while peeing. Choosing the fifth stall would be bold, but too obviously elitist; don't want to be a bathroom champagne socialist - all style, no action.

It's surprising how quickly this thought process happens, but doesn't help you make simple decisions. Important to laugh at yourself under these circumstances. Practicality takes a brass-knuckle beating once your brain figures out how to confuse itself with indecision based on textual models of objectivity. Modern theory can work so carefully and not saying anything absolute or definite that almost nothing of consequence gets said at all...much like critically analyzing urinal stalls instead of just getting the job done.